Tinder Is Not What You Think It Is.

I began my research on Tinder (messaging Women aged 19-22 in London) expecting to find out how it was a hook up app that is destroying dating (see http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating).  Instead, I found Tinder to be a source of lively banter, and interesting insights into how women in London see themselves and men.

I spent a month using some of the data gathering and analysis methods I’ve been learning to unravel some of the mysteries of Tinder. I asked many different young women the same question, “Hey, so I’m studying behavioural science and would like to know what insights you’ve drawn from male behaviour.”

I received more data than I anticipated, but my methods course is giving me the tools to work through and understand it. Rather than answer about male behaviour, most women responded to my question by telling me why they were on Tinder. I ended up with three categories of women on Tinder, Nihilists (28.57%), “My friend made my account” (7.14%), and those looking to meet someone they liked (62.28%).

Nihilists

28.6% of women fell under what I called “the Nihilist” category. A term I heard repeatedly was “just in it for the bants [banter]”. I repeatedly heard a sort of existentialist angst -we’re all terrible and conflicted and what’s the point.

I’m not going to judge or criticize these women- In a way, I too was “just in it for the bants”. Here are some exemplary quotes:

“Tinder is humankind at its most virulent, lascivious and desperate, we all want someone to fuck but we also want someone to love? Right? We’re conflicted and tinder is a bizarre platform where we all come together and judge each other on our faces, weird really, but just like real life, except you can say whatever you want??”

“Tbf I just want someone to hook up with/but I don’t actually trust anyone on here/or reply to anyone properly/ I just use it to troll people”

“I’m on here for a laugh. I moved to London for Uni and thought, why not, see what happens. But no one I’ve spoke to has made me feel interested in wanting to meet them.”

“I could be a female lobster and I’d still get over 50 matches a day”

“My friend made my account”

Another group (7.14%)  claimed that their friend made their account. Implicit, is the idea that they themselves had no motivation to be on. Here is an exemplary quote:

“I literally got tinder 24 hours ago thanks to my colleagues and it’s a very confusing and weird place”

Looking to Meet Someone

The biggest group (62.28%) seemed to be looking for an interesting guy to meet and possibly date. The problem they kept describing was that guys would get too “weird and sexual” and this group often highlighted some of the more bizarre things they had seen. A confounding variable: this group answered my question about male behaviour rather than focus on their own, something that the other two groups did not do.

“Oh, I’ve seen some pretty mental shit/ I’ve seen fuckboys, weird boys, shy boys, hairy boys, and worst of all, boys who put the word gym in their bio”

“They ask me a few questions about myself and then ask me to go out with them for a coffee or a dinner/that’s it”

“ … boys tend to message first, and usually sex or a drink, boys that are more polite say drink. But they probably mean sex as well, so I’d say they all want sex.”

“Hey so I’ve only been using it for a week and I’m surprised at how little start a conversation or if they do/I do, how shy or just casual they seem. I expected people to talk a lot more sexually but guys have all been nice and I’ve been asked out a couple of times : ) If there is someone I find particularly attractive for whatever reason but generally people will just start a chat and if it goes well then a meet up is suggested!”

People often write about Tinder apocalyptically, as if dating has been replaced by a nefarious string of “Netflix and Chills.” I did not find this to be true. Women seemed to be using it as a pre-screening for dating, not a replacement. Finally, large part of Tinder is the banter. I was surprised by the quality and poetry of the insights women sent me.

Note: I’ll admit there was nothing scientific about my methodology, I just sent the same message to my sample (14 people). This study is not endorsed by my teachers or university. I could write an essay about what’s wrong with the study – but at least it was entertaining.